Cure Tinnitus Show #5

I kicked this show off with possibly the most antagonistic question I’ve ever posed Julian. The credibility of this site, his credibility, and our entire effort at CureTinnitus.org is put to the test. After a jolting start, this show wound up being quite soothing. I hope that I represented the “anger” in and with tinnitus well, and that this show serves our community long long long into the future.

Sinerely,
Dainis

Here is a YouTube Show Excerpt for folks getting to know us. The Complete Archived Show is available for members below…

Transcript Available for members below (preview for visitors)

Show #5

Dainis:  Welcome everyone and welcome to the 5th episode of the Cure Tinnitus show. My name is Dainis Michel. I’m your host and we have Julian Cowan Hill as our guest expert.  Julian had tinnitus for 20 yrs and he healed himself.  He is a craniosacral therapist and he works with core process psychology and Buddhist psychology and has over 3000 hours of work with  clients and he has dedicated himself to helping us get better with tinnitus so Julian thank you very much for joining us and for being here and helping us.  I’ll tell you about how the structure of the show is.  I’ll start with a few announcements and then we’re going to cover questions that I gathered during the week and then we’re going to do a one on one session between me and Julian about my personal tinnitus and after that all of will be able to do an exercise together.

As questions come up in your mind just chat them over and we’ll have time to focus on your questions towards the end of the show.  One of the announcements that I’ve got is really interesting.  Its kind of the theme for this show:  and the theme for this show is what relieves and what aggravates tinnitus.  We have a post on that in the curetinnitus.org community on what aggravates and what relieves tinnitus.  So let’s just keep that in the backs of our minds as we go through the show.  One of the announcements was about an article  that’s available to the community  “what are tinnitus people like?” and that’s actually from Tinnitus:  From Tyrant to Friend” that Julian wrote.

A member wrote:  “That list is somewhat frightening especially when I can identify with at least 80% of it.  But with the help of this site I am leaning to deal with such things and my tinnitus is becoming less and less noticeable.”   Isn’t that neat? And I wanted to say thank you so much for sharing what’s working for you, thank you.   Another announcement is that I discontinued the free membership preview in the format that it was in before.  We will have some free “getting to know you” content for e-mail subscribers so you can keep that in mind if and when you recommend “curetinnitus.org to people.  These curetinnitus shows are going to become more private in the future. I’m not sure about the details of that but we’ve got a lot of efforts going outward and it’s going to become important for curetinnitus.org as an electronic and online community to develop reciprocity and fair exchange and just not broadcast out but in the sense of community to make them a little more private because right now we’re just available to everyone.  I interviewed Paul Tobey who is a pianist Wednesday of last week and I want to let everybody know that after the interview I was editing it and my wife looked over my shoulder and she heard a little bit of it and she wanted to watch the whole thing so we wound up watching the whole thing before going to bed.  So there’s an interview with Paul Tobey.  He’s created a product called “tinnitus-free living” and you can check that out on the member area.  Somebody sent us a comment saying “I’d like to see a deep relaxation package/product with soothing music, guided meditations, a self-help questionnaire and resource material.”  Thank you very much for helping let us know how we can serve you better.  That’s a big part of the curetinnitus.org community.  For you to let us know what we can do for you.  We do have some meditations and there are some exercises in Julian’s book, Tinnitus: From Tyrant to Friend” and we’re working on putting together some meditations with music.  We’re still looking at how we can do that best.  Again, I do have a satisfaction survey where I’m going to be calling members for a 15 min survey on your experiences at curetinnitus.org and that’s going to start on Monday May 11.  I’ll have a post in the community about that and I’ll be able to make direct contact with members who choose to participate and I can ask them how they like it and what we can do better.

Just so you know, Julian and I have been working on a “recently acquired tinnitus” product and it’s been really fun and it’s been really engaging so we’re putting that together and it’s turning out to be really fun.

On to questions gathered.  I’ve got a steamy one. This is SO nasty.
Are you ready?

“I find your claims, Mr. Michel, to cure tinnitus to be a bit arrogant when experts like the doctors at OHSU (and I mean no disrespect to doctors I’m just emphasizing the word doctors) admit they don’t have the answers. Just what are your credentials to be appearing as a self-proclaimed expert and guru here.  I see no medical referencing credentials regarding yourself. The writing I see here causes me to put you in the same boat as Dr. Phil and that is sad that you choose to self-create such a phony persona.  The latest dribble you e-mailed just proves that to me.  Too bad that many many real people are seeking relief but I won’t follow a self-proclaimed guru with no reality check.”

Now Julian, I don’t know if you want to respond to that.  I have a bit of a response.  Maybe I can do that first which is “who is this person talking to?  Is this person talking to you?  Or is this person talking to me? Is this person talking to Kevin Hogan or Dr. Mike Matthews from sharedcare.com who is a retired family practitioner but he then joined our community and made a few posts. Are you talking to Paul Tobey?   Maybe, Julian, you can do a better job of responding.

Julian:  Well, this person sounds very angry and I don’t think this program is about gurus at all. A guru is when you put someone up on a pedestal.  I think this is hopefully a more human brotherhood where we are just helping our fellows here and gathering positive results from people who have learned how to help their own T and sharing that with other people  It’s a great benefit and that’s certainly where I’m coming from and I guess that’s my sense of you, Dainis, where you’re coming from.  I’d like to ask this person to consider what it’s like being in my shoes where I had tinnitus extremely badly and I wasn’t able to hold down a job and I couldn’t hear the phone ring.  I found it extremely hard just listening and talking to people because of the tinnitus.  It got in the way of everything.  I was kind of deafened by it.  And when it’s bad….I really know what it’s like to have bad tinnitus and I don’t want to go into the gory details. And to go from that state, really on the extreme scale, to not having it at all, is quite a journey.  My life is completely changed and I’ve learned an awful lot about this symptom along the way.  One of the things that really motivates me is the fact that I went to get help for my tinnitus and I took the conventional route.  I went to a doctor who said “oh it looks like you’ve got tinnitus, there’s nothing you can do about it.  I’m going to refer you to an ENT surgeon.”  So I went to the ENT surgeon, did some tests, had a long chat.  He was a nice guy and he said “well, I’m afraid you’ve got tinnitus and there’s nothing you can do about it and by the way you’re deaf…you need a hearing aid.”  And that came as one hell of a shock.  I didn’t really understand anything about tinnitus at the time and I didn’t really know what to do and I didn’t have anywhere to go and I kind of crumpled for a couple of months and the state that I went into caused my tinnitus to get even worse.  Anyway, to cut a long story short , when you learn what helps and when you help hundreds of people, you become very motivated to continue helping people and I’m just a person who’s helped his own tinnitus.  I don’t like the word guru, I don’t like the hierarchy that that suggests.  And I think people that are extremely angry, and I come across lots of tinnitus people who are seething with anger and who want to be quite aggressive, who want to blame other people. You know it can be like hissing snakes, wanting to fire venom at other people.  We all know what it’s like to be in this state and it’s quite unpleasant. For all involved.  And tinnitus absolutely loves this.  This is one of the best states we can be in to have tinnitus so when I meet people like this, when I work as a therapist, and not as a member of the community, sharing things I’ve learned for the benefit of others, but when I work as a therapist with a client, and when they’re throwing daggers and espousing fire out of their nostrils, when the energy is really really strong it’s really important to help these people find a way of cooling down, releasing, discharging all this very challenging energy and sometimes as a therapy you get it directed at you but that’s part of the process and with angry people, like this guy, what I really really recommend is finding a safe channel to physically express this anger.  And that might be going to the gym and taking it out on the weight machines or thundering up and down the swimming pool or stamping up to the top of a mountain and yelling at the top of your head. It’s going to become really important to let this anger to come through processes and let it settle because the more it settles the more the tinnitus will back off.  And I’m speaking with thousands of hours of experience here, working with angry people and I really wish people well with anger because anger is very infections, it affects people immediately and it’s really hard to see through to what really maters.  That’s my general response to this guy.

Dainis: Thank you very much,  I’m fine w/moving on the next question. The next question is: “An acupuncturist was suggesting that I get a low tone hearing aid and when the noise is present when I’m relaxing that the hearing aid will make the tinnitus recede significantly. Is this a bit like the neumonic program?  Has anyone ever heard of the hearing aid approach?

Julian: Yes, I have and I’ve also worn hearing aids myself.  The thing about tinnitus…..what really helps us understand this is that when you’re straining out to hear that’s what leads to sensitivity.  If you are in fight or flight you are very sensitive and you end up hearing the noise inside the body.  If you have hearing loss and you’re straining out to hear your nervous system actually heightens that sensitivity and that, in turn, can lead to tinnitus. So if you put hearing aids on that takes away the need to strain so your hearing mechanism doesn’t need to be so switched on and so sensitive. It can settle a bit more and your hearing can relax and you don’t have to work too hard the more likely the tinnitus is to back off. And it really changes the focus, wearing a hearing aid, so for many people, wearing a hearing aid, esp. if they have hearing gloss, it really can have a beneficial effect, not only on hearing, but on T and you need to speak to your audiologist about this, this is something that is very much the audiology department they are expert on hearing and hearing aids. And can I just add one last thing because I felt like I didn’t answer something from the last question. Doctors have a certain level of authority in society, based on a very rigorous training.   They’re experts in diagnosing, sign-posting pointing people in the right direction, prescribing medication and hopefully pointing people towards therapists as well. And that’s something in Britain that’s increasing more and more.  Therapists are experts at working w/relationships and w/long term, chronic conditions. And some of the things that I know from having worked for thousands of hours with people may be very dif. From a doctor who maybe spend an average of t10 minutes maximum talking to somebody he sees maybe once a month.  I work with people in depth and I see them probably an hour a week and sometimes for years and so I really get to know people very well and also when I do the hands on work I’m palpating physiology and I can get a very clear sense of how that body is, how it’s holding itself and how it changes with contact.  This is a shifting state that hands on therapists are working with.  Doctors don’t have a clue about this unless they’re trained therapists and doctors are very skilled in their areas but are not trained to work with hands on body work and they’re not trained to be a psychotherapist for example.   So I’m a professional with my professional body behind me, with many hours of training experience, practical experi8ence, supervision, very strict guidelines to what it means to practice as a professional and I also have a lot of experience and everyday I meet doctors who don’t know anything about T and I try and share as much info as I can and my aim is for doctors, for ENT surgeons, for anybody if they don’t know much about T for them to find out and learn.  We can all earn from each other. Doctors may not always be the best person for helping, certainly if they say there is nothing you can do about it.

Dainis:  There was a development in hearing aid technology that I uncovered and it was an open hearing aid and I think I might need to recover that because it might be useful for some members at curetinnitus.org.   But we’ll move on to the next question.

[wcm_restrict] A bit of a story with a bunch of questions: “My tinnitus still seems to be in a pretty reactive stage. I’m trying to implement the general principle of not to focusing on the T but rather focusing on positive things that make me feel better.  I often find myself in sort of a dilemma where perhaps some friends ask me to join them at a bar or a busy restaurant.  Now, for doing positive and enjoyable things it would be good to go.  However, I find that sometimes the noise level, even in crowded restaurants, seems to bother the T. So what do you do?  Do you sit out of something that would otherwise be enjoyable because you fear there will be something that will cause the T to spike? This seems to be allowing the tinnitus to dictate much of one’s life.  However, if I go to the restaurant and things are really loud and the T and the T flares, then it seems that something that was supposed to be relaxing and might get my mind off the T winds up making me re-focus on it and so it’s a catch-22.

He’s not talking about going to a rock concert or something that is too loud but just to a crowed party or a rest. Where if you had a decibel meter it would probably be pretty loud but something to which everyone else seem to be oblivious.

Julian:  What I did when I was in exactly the same state and other people I have worked with have adopted this approach :  do what’s manageable but it’s always good maybe to push…just challenge yourself a little bit because if you’re in that very sensitive, open, vulnerable, reactive state then having background noise like at a pub where you’re talking to people it’s qu9ite hard to focus on the conversation here because your ears, in a state of fight or flight, are picking up everything so you end of getting a cacophonous row going in, but when you settle, your ability to focus the haring improves dramatically.  Really, it can go back to what it was unless you’ve got hearing damage. So your mind can focus out background noises and register it as not very important. And you can really focus your attention. Clearly on a conversation. With another person. This ability will get better and better as long as you keep looking after yourself, letting go and focusing on your health and your internal well being so my advice is to keep trying, keep exploring and slowly you’ll find what’s manageable gets bigger and bigger.  This month you might go to the pub and find it quite challenging but you can cope, you can follow the conversation.  It’s a bit annoying to keep hearing the background noise too much but you can kind of survive and in a month’s time you can find it a little bit easier. And su8ddenly you go to a pub and you don’t even think about the background noise because you’re able to focus on the conv. If not, sometimes people let T take over and I always think it’s good too, esp. with the things you really enjoy, like good company, just keep plugging away, keep allowing yourself that because it can be very beneficial.

Dainis; Once y0ou start doing the work of relaxation that directly reduces the T, it’s possible the person could take some breaks.  If there’s a flare up, go outside, and maybe  breaks would help would you agree w/that?

Julian: Absolutely,  And the more you can get into it the more you will enjoy it and you’ll settle which means your hearing will focus anyway.  There’s no right or wrong with this it’s like learning to ride a bike. Wit this condition, you just need to work with the T., let it show you what’s manageable, let it show you want isn’t.

Dainis:  you mentioned that you are partially deaf.  What I don’t understand it you don’t seem to be wearing a hearing aid.  I met you in person, you didn’t seem to have any problems understanding me and you don’t seem to have any problem understanding me know can you explain that?

Julian:  I wear then extremely rarely and just for purely practical reasons my hearing aid is brilliant but I go swimming a lot, I’m very active and I got into a habit of now wearing it and I’m also a very good lip reader and I can also hear quite a lot and I would describe my deafness as moderately deaf but I don’t have any high pitch hearing.

Dainis: I see. We’ll move to another ques. A member has some dental work that needs to be done,. Having he work done will remove some irritation inside my head and would probably help the T but I’m fearful of having a tooth pulled will make the T spike.  So once again it looks like T is running the show.  Are there times when you have to say darn….the T I’m just going to do what I’ve gotta do even if perhaps I might experience a spike.

Julian: I had to have dental work when I had T and if you have invasive treatments, if you have a too pulled out or if you have root canal treatment or things that need doing we have to see our dentist to get their opinion but if you have to have work done sometimes it might lead to your T spiking but then for every spike there’s a trough so if you were not to worry at all and just go do the dental work your T may or may not react. If it does react it will probably back off but what keeps it here is emotional “: what if and you start to get into this fearful state and that’s very powerful. And that can cause a T reaction which I’m sure everybody realizes.  So basically, if your mind set is ok and you’re feeling ok there is no reason why dental work should eave any long lasting effects on your T,  If it does wobble, you can watch it back off again and if you get into a sticky wicket with this then that will be a time to go and have a cranial session or practice some relaxing techniques or just have an easy day with beautiful music, or resting or good company or you might really have to attend to your needs after the dentist because it’s not very nice and you feel a bit emotionally and wobbly after it.  So T can flare up with things but it backs down as well.

Dainis:  My personal experience…because I was concerned about my teeth and my jaw they diagnosed me as having T caused by something in my teeth – dentogenic T and my wisdom tooth extraction was a completely nightmare.

Julian: If you have a nightmarish extraction than you might experience a bit of shock.  If you experience trauma….you know trauma sounds very dramatic…..but having a bone taken out of the body is still surgery and that is bound to have an affect on the nervous system.  Personally, I had a tooth extraction last year and it wasn’t too bad but I had a cranial session and it just helped my system settle.

Dainis: Now we’re going to move to a one on one T consultation with Julian and me. And then afterwards there’s going to be an exercise for all of us to follow along.  So this is an example of what it’s really like to get some T coaching.

Julian:  Just for the benefit of people watching this, the intention is to step into the preset moment, to really notice what’s going on and to focus on whatever Dainis wants to bring and it’s one of the most helpful things we can do when we’re working with somebody is to notice how we are really being affected and just let it pass through the system.

Dainis:  Well Julian, I’ve just arrived at your office, I see you have a very happy figurine behind you, I probably picked it up and played with it a little bit and then I sat down in front of you and I’m here and I have T and I’m open to what you would want me to do or say or answer.
Julian:  If I can just ask you right now, how are you?  What are you experiencing?

Dainis:Well I can focus in on my body….there are some people in my immediate relationships that are suffering a lot and that’s very very trying for me.  There are definitely trying relationship things happening and that seems to be taking the primary part of my focus which, when I think of the kind of work we’ve done before, kind of keeps me “out here”.

Julian: So this is really interesting. S your attention is “out there” and I know this sounds funny but would you say it’s in the room or beyond the room.

Dainis:  Actually I can say that when things are really bad it’s definitely beyond the room but now it’s more like two feet out and it’s conically shaped and my attention is kind of out there.

J:  There a lot of awareness there and for some people watching this they might be saying blimey how does this guy know that?  But it’s great that you are able to get a sense of the shape of it because if we notice and focus sometimes we can feel where the body is, sometimes you can’t but sometimes you can feel the tension around the body and it can be in a bubble or in a huge vast open space or you can feel it pretty much inside so for you right now it feels like there is a very clear shape that you are in contact with.

D: and as we’re talking I can feel things coming into the body and there’s pressure in the ear and it’s not as conical or outward anymore.  As we’re speaking the actual shape is changing and the direction of the energy is changing.

J:  Can you get a sense of how your ear and jaw and your face feel?

D:  I’ve had some experiences lately where I feel like I’m really clenched.  The tendency would be to clench down and it’s almost like the front muscles here are tense and almost a little bit numb.  I actually for a number of years have been in the situation where if I press right here (TM joint) I can actually completely eliminate the T if I press. And it’s also with side to side head stretches.

J:  sometimes if you just your jaw out or clench your teeth it can influence the T.  Also pressing the top of your head.

D:  I also can change it by pressing meridian points on my fingers.  If anyone has had emotional freedom technique then you will know that pressing meridian points affect T but the most for me are the tips of my fingers and jaw.

J:  What might be most useful for everybody are a few tips for managing the jaws and the ears. Just really simple things first, really obvious, but people forget this: putting face cream on and massaging with our own hands; get a hot face cloth when you are shaving you can really enjoy massaging the face and using hot clothes and also putting your hands around your jaw and just sort of cradling it in the hands.  It’s amazing how few people do this.  If our ears and our jaw are uptight and in a state you just cradle your jaw in your hands for about 5 min hand that can be incredibly relaxing.  A lot of people have issues with the jaw, lots of jaw tension and I discovered this for myself:  I used to go to bed with my thumbs in my mouth and this looks a bit odd but basically separating your teeth w/your thumbs and then lying on your side so that basically the teeth are closing onto your thumbs and get into a position where you can be very  comfortable and where you can breath well with your teeth closing down on the thumbs.  And if you lie there for about 5 min what will happen is that the jaw will close down on the thumbs.  If it gets too much you’ll take your thumbs out because you will be biting them but what you will feel is that your jaw is going like that (_) and you might clamp down like an absolute oyster shell and if you can stay w/that for 5 min you can really feel the subconscious tension pulling up and all the muscles around the jaw (there are loads of muscles that hold the jaw up) you can really feel that tension and when you take your thumbs out you get this sigh of relief and the sense of deep relaxation sliding all the way up the side of your head.  So basically, you’re staying wit your jaw opened against the thumbs for about 5 min then you take your thumbs out and you get a real sense of relief.  And esp. when you go to bed it can be extremely comforting and when you go to sleep w/a relaxed jaw that’s one really good thing and the other thing that I find really helpful is to sit and notice how your jaw is and then just very slightly open your jaw a tiny amount and then continue to open it incredibly slowly. I’m talking about going from this ( ) to that ( ) in about 2 min and take your time and then close it really slowly.  If you do it incredibly slowly, as slowly as you can you can feel the subtle movements of all the muscles and sometimes you can feel the energies for people who are more sensitive really shifting and it can be deeply releasing.  Just explore that – open and close maybe 3 times over the course of 10-12 min and what happens is that your awareness comes right into that area and you’re focusing on things that are not T but they’re physical, muscular, jaw places that are absolutely very closely linked to T and it can be deeply relaxing.  Allowing the jaw to relax is really such a hugely beneficial thing.  I would say that in my experience 70% of people w/T have jaws that are clenched and quite often you get people holding back their real feelings, not being able to cry, not being able to speak their minds, having to listen and having to put up with other people’s stuff and not being able to express one’s own feelings freely.  There are all sorts of patterns behind this and also interestingly, I’ve learned this from my craniosacral therapist, that sexual tension in the pelvis is very closely linked to the jaw (I’m not going to explain why) but sometimes when people are going through sexual tension, frustration, difficulties on that level, it can be. It can really lock into this area.  This area (TMJ joint) is one of the most emotional parts of a person. As a CS therapist if I take up contact around the temporal bones and TMJ area just that info alone can give me more information about that person’s emotional state than anywhere else in the body.  So it’s very very useful to look after this area. And one final tip is eating: for g-d’s sake don’t chomp or nash your food You know people can eat their food like savage dogs.  They should chew and swallow gently.  Half of carbohydrate digestion happens in the mouth so what granny says is right: chew your food do it gently and when you are eating do it gently and really feel what’s going on because if you gobble it down sometimes people use far too much force esp. if there’s anger around and it can be really really held here Some people break their teeth they bite so hard.

D:  We’ve got a comment:  “I’ve broken teeth off because of jaw clenching and I wear a mouth appliance” Comment on video being slow and how video will be posted to website.  Now, back to the slow opening of the jaw..my goodness it really feels wonderful and I will do that after the show.  I can feel the release and I’m certainly not as far out as I was before.

J:  Just one thing about the jaw:  I learned something from a man called Franklin Sills who’s my CS therapist form the  ________ Institute, which is in Devon.  they have wonderful Buddhist based training there  WE had to sit and stare at a dot on the wall and we had to move our head incredibly slowly away from the dot and back again and it sounds so incredibly simple but when we did it, our eyes…when your eyes are going straight forward that’s well-being and if we moved our gaze slightly away from the point we were focusing on you could actually feel your flight or fight response kick in as you move away from the dot.

D: Ok, I’m trying that w/the camera.

J;  Ok, and if you try to focus on your body, relaxed, eyes straight ahead on the dot and then you move slightly a fraction to the left you can actually feel your heart start to pick up and you feel this pressure………but what I wanted to say about this is that Franklin Sills taught me that really focusing on minute details and doing tiny movements can be much more revealing sometimes so just moving a jaw a fraction of a millimeter can reveal much more, you really feel much more than if you just open and close your mouthy.  Moving your head a tiny amount or moving your face bit just changing the position of your head can free up all the muscles of the jaw, the throat and all the structures around the ear.  This is extraordinary. This is something we can do by ourselves.

D:  This brings me a little bit back to when we were doing the touching and I was touching my own muscles and bones I remembered that I used to periodically get ringing in my ears as a child but I was always able to massage it away.  I would find the spot and massage it and it would go away.  And I guess one of the things that was pretty depressing around 7 years ago when I had my huge spike, because now I can’t hear any T, and maybe if I concentrated I would, but it’s very depressing that I was always able to massage it away or help other people with their headaches and my own headaches but these are some exercises that I hadn’t thought of.  This is actually stuff that I can do alone and it’s not dangerous at all to just slowly open your jaw.  You obviously don’t cause yourself any pain but I get a good feeling jus thinking about the exercises.  So I wanted to say that you addressed something that made me feel very depressed because I always wanted to do it myself and when the T came and I wasn’t able to get rid of it myself it spun me into depression, not depression but self-doubt and “why can’t I get rid of it” I was always able to get rid of it

J:  As a child, we normally haven’t had enough stress or trauma to put us into a state of fight or flight if we’re lucky. I mean most of us spent a lot of our childhood being able to sleep deeply and just switch off and be ok in whatever situation but as adults all the life stuff layers in and we get more and more to this activated state so your idling speed, your body’s adrenal levels are resting up here when they could be down here.  So what I would recommend in this situation is that because you have such structurally related T, by touching different areas, it might be really good for you to have a craniosacral therapy session where the therapist takes that contact and really listens and really depends into the contact and because you are with somebody else who is calm that can help your system release and let go more than you might be able to by yourself. And there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to get back to that level where you can do it yourself.

D:  What’s interesting is that things from the past come in and what might be happening for some of the viewers, I was having a CS session and my T disappeared and I think you forget about these things, I think you’re living your daily life and maybe there are things in member’s past histories where they go “boy at that moment I couldn’t even tell you if I had T or not.  Maybe they were particularly focused or particularly happy or who knows what they were listening to something or doing something but it’s a question of whether there are gaps in our own recollection of when we can’t truly even say we had T because we weren’t aware of it,

J:  And when you’re in that space it doesn’t matter anyway..you don’t bother looking for it, it’s no longer in your mind, you’ve forgotten about it, your perception of it is probably gone and it doesn’t matter if it’s a tiny bit here if you get angry because it’s no longer an issue and this is something that happens the more and more you get into the process of letting go

D:  Question: viewer has question about isotronic tone as well as binaural tone for relaxation and stress.  I have my MA degree in music composition and I’ve tried a few of the binaural tone CDs and basically it’s like they’ve got these tones going and the tones don’t bother me but someone puts the worst music possible over these tones and I have a hard time relaxing to something where I know that the person who made the mu8sic just pressed a few b buttons.

J:  I would say to this person try it and see.  Anything which you might find useful try it and see.  The answer is in your response and your body and how it is for you  It’s such a coincidence because heard a binaural tone for the firs time this week and for me, I’d rather listen to some beautiful music.  Music sounds lovely and creates a nice relaxing atmosphere.  Something may not work for me but it may work for other people. Try these things out for yourself.  All these techniques we are talking about there.  They are useless if they stay in your cerebral cortex  Practice them!  Explore what it is like to be a human being with all these choices and let your nervous system tell you if it helps or not.

D:  When you get T you get into a vey fear-based state and keep looking for the right thing and you don’t want to spend 200 bucks on binaural CDs….I spent a lot of time being very fearful and wanting to do the right thing, wanting to go see the right therapist and trying to figure out the right treatment type and there was a lot of energy there and much less try it and see and if you like it move with it. M much less of what you seem to be suggesting now.

J: We are using people’s own wisdom. Everybody knows how they are. I mean if you like someone you know that you like them.  If you feel relaxed that’s your experience.  So all we’re doing is opening up doors and making suggestions ands some people might really resonate with some things and some with others and hopefully it will allow people to explore things for themselves and realize we are much more in control than we think.  The way we’re driving our body and our nervous system is everything and we can learn to soften the way we are with ourselves and approach ourselves in a very gentle,
caring loving way and really look after it and the more we do that the more things settle in. It might be going for a delicious walk and really letting yourself enjoy it.  You might need to go see a reflexologist who works with your feet that might really sing out to somebody and be brilliantly helpful for someone.  WE all have to find what works for us.

D:  We will close with a question from a listener:  Since the development of my T I have been reading and researching on a daily basis because I can’t say this is going to become a part of my everyday life at all.  Oh..ok I see. This person is saying my overall outlook if very positive. I was thinking this person is way too into reading and researching…well fantastic.

J: If this person is finding out useful stuff which is helping her understand and feel ok that’s great.  At some stage it might be good to get out of their head because reading is very cerebral and its good to get into the body and I know I sound like a scratched record and I’ve said this several times but thinking and thinking and analyzing is just the tip of the iceberg .  We need to get underneath all of that and into feeling, noticing what it’s like, how it is and really connecting inside and T really has a hard time with that.

D: Maybe we can close w/a few comments about the overarching theme which was what really aggravates T?  What aggravates T?  Arguments w/people.

J: I wrote a long list and I don’t know if you’re going to post it.
D: Oh it’s there already.  Definitely go in there and make your own comments.
J: IN some ways it’s obvious.

D: Oh, I’ve got a good little game. I’ll do an aggravate and you try to do a relief. So, arguments with people I have relationships. With aggravate. T.
J:  Listening to them, really hearing what they’re trying to communicate, understanding it and communicating how you feel back brings your heart back into contact.
D: what if they call you an idiot?
J: they are probably angry about some, they probably want you to really listen. If you say OK,
I’m an idiot, how do you know that?  What do I need to know> I want to understand this feeling.

D:  ok. Structural stuff: tension in the back, tension in the jaw, aggravates T.

J: Have a bath, have a massage, go and have a lovely aromatherapy massage. Ask your partner to stand with their hands on your shoulders while you are watching TV for an hour, get your kids to pummel your shoulders put a hot water bottle behind your back do some really slow shoulder movements, incredibly slow.

D:  Last what aggravates tinnitus: angry mental chatter about either circumstances or something in one’s life.

J: That’s a toughie.  Not letting it affect you noticing how the body holds it maybe your jaw is clenched and your shoulders are tense, maybe subconscious you are about to paunchy somebody . Go and stand in front of the mirror and imitate yourself. Notice how you are holding yourself and try doing an impersonation of yourself. I can be quite funny it certainly makes me laugh. I you are not able to do that communicate, you need to talk to people find out what’s really eating you up. Opening up the communications channels, learning how other people feel, addressing your feelings and when you know where you stand, where other people stand things will get better.

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