Cure Tinnitus Show #26
Another heartfelt show. Themes: listening, tmj, emotions, loosening up in a goofy and pleasant way, nurturing emotions.
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Hello Dainis and Julian
First of all, thanks again Dainis for replying to my mails. It has a colossal effect knowing that you and your org. care.
Right, Dainis, you know my story, so you can tell Julian what you know if need be during his answer.
After what will be (at the time of the show) three months with tinnitus, an early start implementing guidelines (I found Julian on Youtube by chance), the usual “settling period”, ups and downs or “wobbles” if you will, I´m a lot better. After beginning to really understand what t is (yes it does take time!), accepting that changes have to be made, stopping trying to stop t – a BIG awakening!, working on myself and some of the traits that probably brought it on in the first place (impatience, for a start), stopping listening out for slight changes and analysing what might have caused them, I´m having periods where I without trying, even forget it´s there or it´s just a slight buzz or jingle (obviously a bit worse in the evening – though falling asleep doesn´t seem to give too many problems, and in the morning just after waking up). It´s not gone, but my awareness of it seems to have shifted. There are still days when it´s (or seems) louder or more irritating (wobbles), but I know there´ll be days when it´s not.
Up to now I´ve had 7-8 cst sessions and am looking at bi or triweekly sessions for a while. I´m still talking fairly regularly to a psychologist (not a psychtherapist, but I feel comforatble with her). I go to a yoga class, where I´m discovering parts of my body that can´t have been stretched for many years!
I´m getting back to work as a teacher after a period of sick leave, and it´s going well. The tinnitus began/coincided with a moderate depression/stress/breakdown in the mid to late November. I´m taking small steps rather than a big leap! My wife and I even went out for meal and shared a bottle of red wine without any real effect, probably because my regular diet is good and healthy after implementing a few changes (especially with regards to sugar, refined wheat and cow milk). I drink a coffee at weekends again seemingly without problem.
A little aside. I had a really weird experience a few days ago. I could feel my clothes kind of enveloping my body. The feeling of cloth on skin was an almost new one. I wonder if this means that my felt sense of body is slowly but surely returning?
A chest virus has had me coughing for a month which is irritating, and has put a stop to my swimming for a while, but apart from that I feel great, which seemed a million miles away at the end of November, where I was at my wit´s end and in a dark place.
Julian, I´ve got two questions. I´ve read and reread your book, especially about the matrix and levels 3 and 4. Maybe I´m beating myself about the head with this, and my cerebral brain is chomping at the bit, but I can´t seem to place myself above the line. How can I tell if I´m motivated?
My next question is about relaxation techniques. I´m still flitting between techniques – my cst therapist and my psychologist have given me suggestions, I´m using The Calm Technique (from an old book by Paul Wilson I had lying around), and some daily buddhist meditations (while cycling and “pottering about”) as well as the clenching and relaxing. How long can it take before one finds the right combination? I feel I´m doing well, but this part of the plan makes my saboteur rebuild those Himalayan mindsets right back up again!
Thanks again you two for your compassion, help and support!
Yours sincerely
Christopher (member: chris)
Chris, you are very very welcome, and because we’ve been through it, we do care quite a bit. My first impression from your comment is that it took me at least 3 years to get to where you’ve gotten in 3 months. I actually mean that. The use of coffee, alcohol, etc. However, reintroducing white sugar and certain kinds of wheat products…well…you kind of get a feel for whether that’s even healthy at all. And I have the best organic coffee at home imaginable. It smells SO goooooood! And now, sitting at my office, even though I wouldn’t mind having a coffee…we just have a Nespresso machine…and uck! Sorry…even though I can have all I want (I’m managing a project for “healthy office space” where I’m sitting right now…), BLEACH…and it doesn’t make me feel very good to drink that coffee.
The show is coming up on Monday, and I look forward to covering your request. I know things may spike and get bad and good, and your moderate “depression/stress/breakdown” is certainly a factor, however, reading your post really makes me feel you are doing well. The Himalayan mindsets…right! I get it! We want CURE CURE CURE, and sometimes don’t recognize how much better we’re actually feeling.
More on the show…
Hello again Dainis (and Julian)
It´s me, member chris again. There´s a little detail that I´ve not mentioned until now. It turned up in therapy, and I wondered what your views are.
Six years ago when my youngest daughter was born, we discovered by accident, after 10 days, that she had a heart problem/complaint. After a dramatic rush to the hospital – her in an ambulance, we were sent home to wait and pack some clothes, she was settled, diagnosed and operated on the day after. After an initial period of about six weeks with many ups and downs (she was so sick at one point that we almost planned a funeral) we were sent home. Regular visits to the hospital showed further compications that were remedied by a major 5 hour operation when she was six months old. Now she´s healthy and yearly visits have been positive!
The experience was obviously stressful, like living in a bubble for months on end without time to reflect – you have to be “there” in case anything happens.
Even today I´m reactive to the sound of sirens, electric doors, certain smells and sad films. She survived and is in great shape. I´ve never talked this through apart from with family and a few friends, and because she survived I feel like a fraud when it turns up in therapy.
My psychologist suggested working through it with more structure and form. What do you think?
She says that the reactive state means that it´s not really found a “place” yet, and as such needs to be worked through.
I don´t want to take up too much time on the show, but Julian´s thoughts would be welcome.
Yours Sincerely
Christopher Howson
chris, that sounds like a completely understandable stress reaction. my mother could not STAND low flying propeller planes…why? well…because she’d been bombed during WWII as a child.
what a wonderful discovery for you and i am deeply grateful you’ve shared such a personal and powerful experience.
I am looking forward to be able to partake in a live show!
I need to know the time and instructions for a link, please.
I am in S America now, and am catching up to where I would like to be but is slow…(in relation to curetinnitius.org and tamming the “t”)
I have many questions and comments for another time….
thanks again Dainis!
Please help me from getting
BYE BYE SPAMBOT!
when I try to logon with my username and password!
Sajjan
Hi Sajjan, the spambot issue should be resolved now, and i am currently doing major overhaul of CureTinnitus.org. Unfortunately, as enjoyable as our live shows were, we’re doing a recorded show this Monday. That might change soon, and we will schedule some live shows this year. Interestingly, because you’ve expressed interest, I have no problems scheduling the next show to be a live one (March show). In general times that work are AM times GMT on Mondays. Pick a day and a time in March and we’ll see what we can do.
Otherwise, summarize your story, your issues, and any questions you may have, and I will cover them in the show on Monday. Also, please let me know if you want to be anonymous of if we can use your name on the show (or what you want to be called on the show). Lots of times we just address is as a “member question.”
Best, and looking forward to your questions and comments 🙂
Dainis
Hi, in November you mentioned that there were a series of interviews lined up with Jennifer Battaglino. I don’t seem to have seen these – are they still on the cards? Thanks.
Hi Mary, here is the first: https://curetinnitus.org/tinnitus-at-the-office-rescue-video-works-for-any-public-space/ we’ll be doing more and what a wonderful spirit Jen is! Maybe we could cover some of the same ground with Julian and Jen (asking the same questions) … and members would be able to hear two professional perspectives? Hmmm…
This is what I want Dainis:-) the more knowledge given on situations, the better:-)
Had a teleconsult sessions once, with Jenny, she is really into it…It would be somewhat ‘frustrating’ if the knowledge is not spread out here…
Ev
Thank you for your reply Dainis, I hope you are well!
I will be in India starting the 8th of March, so the week before is good for me for a show.
Briefly, I have had “T” for 3 and a half years or so. The same exact ring, at the same frequency and loudness. I used to use masking sounds to help me not pay attention and forget it. Seeing your shows and applying some of the suggestions for taming it, I have gotten used to it and it is not as bothersome. However, it would be nice for it to disappear. I teach Mantra Meditation and Bhakti Yoga, Self Realization, and baasically am very calm and not in the Adrenalin “Fight or flight” mode you mention hardley at all.
Although I do travel extensively sometimes 40 flights a year, to different countries where I am invited to do seminars, etc.
I used to be a Paramedic in Los Angeles, California, USA and then I was very much in a stressful ocupation in practically a war-zone! 24hr shifts, sometimes 3 days in a row, with periodic sleep in between emergency 911 calls. Compated to my life then, I am very relaxed and serene. I am a vegetarian for almost 40yrs, and eat a healthy diet.
I enjoy Cranial Sacral work for deeper relaxation!
I have had for many years, “braxing” at night during sleep. Grinding the teeth and wear a bite block.
I am curious if a high percentage of persons with “T” have TMJ problems.
I have tried hypnosis even at this is unconcious, without success.
I know you both have something here and would like to find out my deeper cause!
I still look forward to more studying of Julian’s wonderful book!
Sajjan
It’s really in the light of Paul Tobey’s stuff & in particular in the context of being a musician. From what I can gather Paul suffered severe – even catastrophic T and overcame this through re-focusing his attention on what he loved – namely being a concert pianist.
So my question (to you, to Paul…) is regarding listening.
You see – according to my tests, my hearing isn’t impaired, but I still really have to strain to hear certain sounds through the T – especially through big spikes, when I find it difficult to make out say the rain or the wind outside – sounds I used to enjoy listening to – I mean, I actually can’t hear them because of the T. Now as a trained musician this has probably been the very worst aspect of having tinnitus – as I’m sure you can appreciate. Even though I am now back playing the piano, sometimes, even when feeling good, strong, positive, it can be difficult to fully engage in listening. And this is especially true when I am teaching. Though yes, of course, when I’m feeling good it’s not so much of an issue – but when I’m tired, or like recently, when I had a cold, it was really tough.
The reason I am interested in Paul is because his description of his T sounded so loud. When my T is ‘OK’, I still can’t hear as clearly as before, but when it goes really spikey – well – I suppose you could argue that at this point my whole nervous system is out of whack – but anyway, basically it’s really hard to hear clearly/ hear through the T.
Did Paul – did you – find a way to focus on other sounds? One of the meditations I have come across with mindfulness training is a listening meditation. I have avoided it, but maybe it’s a good idea – to bring all sound into awareness. Now I do understand that the key to healing from tinnitus is a deep letting go thing and I am learning to be with the sound (on good days – which are becoming more regular) and experiencing some degree of healing. I think I just wonder if I will ever gain my ability to listen clearly again. Even Paul mentions how if he lets himself listen to the tinnitus, he reakons it is as loud as ever – so what about his general listening? How can he hear all the subtlties of music if his initial T was so loud? I understand many people ‘let go’ of their T and this is of course the ultimate – but can take time, or even not be achieved at all.
Anyway must dash – have a screeching, tantrumming and very very tired toddler to coax into bed! Peace to you, MemberX
Hi Dainis – thanks for the nice email. Can you do me a favour and just send me a really clear, lovely, kind email today telling me exactly what you did and what I need to do to get my nervous system back on track… something just clear, direct and very very nice because I feel horrible today.
I’ve been doing amazingly well – feeling well and strong and sleeping brilliantly and making music and T not too much of an issue… then last night I was awake the whole night with supersonic volatile T and I went crashing down to level 1 and nothing I had learnt or experienced made any sense and I didn’t handle the night skillfully at all. All your answers are very interesting to all my questions – but I feel like I’m off track somewhere – like you come back at me with stuff I don’t understand/ I haven’t thought about/ contradicts stuff I’m doing…like I am on a slow path to habituation, but not to full wellness. My main focus is on calm calm calm and I have been doing Julian’s body scan technique and cranio & this last night was because I got a cold over the weekend and got grumpy and forgot to just do calm. I want some stability – struggling to understand how one minute I can feel very trusting, positive, focused, everything in perspective, and the next minute I’m a total shaking wreak …
ok you are going to say stuff about therapy and support and being listened to… but what I want to hear, if you’ll be willing to share, is your story to wellness – exactly what you did. Did you suffer extreme sleeplessness? Volatile spikes? How can people spontaneously let go of this thing? My whole head buzzes and when it’s bad all kinds of scarey sounds come in. In all honesty, I am really no closer to letting go of this thing. I have read Julian’s stuff and Paul Tobeys… and the meditation I am focusing on is acceptance therapy meditation… and sometimes I feel good and accepting and other times I can feel the resistance so strongly with both lack of sleep and volatile T… and sometimes I don’t know what on earth to do with the resistance…. also, and maybe I have an issue with therapy… unless you can recommend a very good online skype therapist. I saw Julian and he was wonderful, but I couldn’t fully let go … maybe he was too settled for me and I didn’t want to disturb that.
Please send me something really really nice and clear. Glad youlike the idea for the vid by the way and all your remarks very interesting. My little girl is up now after her mammoth sleep bless her so must go for cuddles. MemberX
Dainis and Julian!
Thanks so much you guys!
I am having internet difficulty where I am at in Argentina right now. Sorry, but will need to reply in more length later. The show keeps stopping in midstream!
see ya soon!
I need to ask some questions on the “wearing socks therapy” … I couldn’t quite get it as you both were having fun and jokes a little.
I am trying to watch it over a couple of times.
🙂
ahh…it is only around 100MB, i’ve done A LOT of work on compressing the vids and audio etc. So, if you press play, then press pause and wait for a while for the whole video to download, then you can watch the whole thing. Soon, there will be download options, but most people can figure out how to download the videos using a downloader. that ensures you can watch seamlessly.
Hi Dainis and Julian,
Thanks again for another great show. While watching it I closed my eyes from time to time and felt my body shift into an amazing state of calmness. A deep rest. Also I felt my whole body buzzing with energy. Sometimes I even had to shake my legs to get rid of it. This happens often when I meditate. I am not sure the buzzing is my body I am feeling or tension I hold. Quite confusing. Maybe you guys can comment on that.
Something different now. In Cure Tinnuts Show 26 Julian answered a member question about jaw problems. He told they might have something to do with sexual issues. And that jaw related issues are in a way quite similar or related to those of tinnitus. I follow meditation lessons at a spiritual teacher who just told me exactly the same. It didn’t make sense to me then. But now I think I have to dig deep and hope I can figure out something to work on.
Keep up the good work, you guys.
Cheers,
Lucas
Hi folks.
I am so grateful for your fantastic discussion around my question (listening). You’ve no idea how much I got out of it and I will definitely be getting it together to watch more of your shows. You both spoke SO much sense. Just for the record – yes I did have a hearing test and results were fine. In fact, I could clearly make out sounds that were within the range of my T. However, it wasn’t an extensive test (I remember being told that). The T coincided with onset of hypothyroidism so perhaps a little hearing loss would make sense (as that screeching toddler had severe colic at that time too!).
However, great stuff about focus and the nervous system. I have had some very good days recently and the T has been much calmer and I have felt fine with it and my listening in general has been much much clearly.
I could just do with learning to maintain these calm times as my Doctor T is starting to point out that my nervous system slips and wobbles at the slightest thing and is still a tricky one to get back on track! Patience patience!!
I would also like to tell you that my husband sat down and watched your show too (the first part). He has coped well throughout this difficult period in my life – remaining calm and steady, but he has never taken any steps to learn about tinnitus before and I suppose I don’t need to tell you what a lonely place tinnitus can be! I think he just found it all a bit overwhelmng. Anyway, he watched right to the end of my question (which really surprised me) and he thought your discussion was brilliant. He also said that he was really happy that I had found such great people to help guide me through this time. This means so much to me. I mean, I know he loves me, but the last couple of years haven’t been a great deal of fun and that’s tough for everyone.
As regards screeching tantrumming toddlers! Yes again – a lot of sense. I have 3 young children actually (the boys are 6 & 8). If I ever have a break (ie., stay at my mums etc), my 2 year old comes with me because (up til now!! some terrible 2s sneaking in at the moment!), she is actually really good. I hadn’t considered however, how important it is to have a COMPLETE break, because of course – I am still listening out for her (her current thing is waking up all night wanting a wee!!! grrr!!! never had that with the boys!). Ha – and perhaps that’s something for therapy too – how rattled my nervous system has been since having kids! always on the look/ listen out!! I mean kids just do that to you! only this week I had to confront a teacher because I heard her really shout at my 6 year old and I just couldn’t take it! Hello current T wobble!
Peace to you both. Keep up this very special work. xx
After many problems with the USB modem server I have here I was able to listen to 26 completely!
Thank you so very much for the wonderful commentts on listening, and a way of being that will create a mood that “t’ cannot deal with!
I was deeply moved by your and Julian’s time spent address my present condition with T!
Julian is right, my T , does change with my attention. Many times throughout the day I am totally unaware of it. A majority by far! This was great to enter into the cyber office of Julian and have Dainis’s help as well.
One request… I have listened 2 times to the part of the “Socks” meditation. I still cannot quite understand this suggestion. In my Spiritual Lfe and meditation at different times of the day, I am far away from hearing the”t” and paying any attention to it. Could you please be a little more direct and precise?
I understand there is something very unconcious that is not letting go and the comments of TMJ are very helpful. I agree there is a direct correlation. I also had a very tramatic childhood with my parents divorcing when I was 4 or 5 years old.
Plenty of food for thought! Also I am practicing the techniques for relaxing phyically TMJ, and will ask for some help with my CSM and Chiropracter.
That was great!
Thank you both so much! …. and thanks also to Dainis’s daughter for her valuable contibution for lightening up! Very important!
Hello Guys,
We are very fortunate to have the luxury of healing. I have just returned from a visit to India, a chunk of my time was in Kolkata. Clearly there is massive poverty and hardship that is beyond my comprehension.I am still wrapping my head around it all. I DO have to wonder if we in the west ponder too much over our traumas, which are part of life. This world is full of extreme contrasts.
This all makes my “suffering” seem so superficial.
I will continue on my healing path with great gratitude.
good for you, sounds like your perspective changed.